Join me on my Jesus Journey to be all He wants me to be! Walk along side me as I figure out how to be the woman of God & the warrior for Christ God has called me to be! You're openly invited to take part in my spiritual journey & shares yours too!
Last night I had to be brutally honest about something God laid on my heart. I to call out certain actions of another person, but not in a gossipy way, but in truth because God asked me to. I ignored His request for about two months, but realized last week He would hold me accountable if I didnt do what He ask me to do.
Well telling the truth AIN'T easy!!! I felt attacked for my honesty, even though I offered mercy and gave example how I had been on the other side before. I know first hand how important it is to be held accountable by other Christians, to repent and turn away in order to fully turn to Jesus. Their grace and forgiveness meant a lot to me! SO eventhough we sometimes have to speak up and speak truth, it doesnt have to be a "mean" thing...we should do so in love for the person or group and first for the Lord.
I knew I was going to feel attacked because the others have turned a blind eye for so long and dont feel comfortable speaking up especially in situations like this. I guess this is why God asked me to do it. He knows good and well I dont have problem speaking up LOL...I guess I should accept this as a gift from Him!
So though I did do what God asked me, it still hurt to feel condemned by the others for being honest even if what I said was Biblical. Then my dear sweet friend who didnt even know how I was feeling sent me a verse that stated EXACTLY how I felt!
Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? – Galatians 4:16
So all in all, I know I did what was right by God and Im ok with that. His Word clearly states we will be persecuted for doing right because He was persecuted as well. Just please pray for this situation! I know Im very vague on it, but I just have to be :)
LOVE the words to this song!! Everytime I hear it it reminds to do whatever I have to do to share God's love with others...and even if Im not perfect HE IS! I just have to stay faithful and love love LOVE!
It has been awhile! Our computer has broken so I have been a bad blog reader and writer the last month :)
Last year my mom lost her home in Hurricane Ike and has been living in a FEMA trailer since last November 11. She recently found out that if she didnt buy her trailer for $2400 she would lose it :( This would leave her homeless or having to moving a couple hours away from her hometown. I asked everyone I knew to please pray for her...well God heard those prayers and came through! My mom's pastor told her yesterday that a man came to him and said God woke him up and told him to pay for my mom's trailer and to have it put on stilts!!! How marvelous is that!?!?!!
She still needs prayer because she doesnt want to be stuck in a FEMA trailer forever! The government is still going through money from various sources to see who qualifies to have a home built... my mom meets all the requirements but that doesnt guaranty her anything...so please keep her in your prayers!
My life has been chaotic for awhile but I feel like I'm moving out of this valley, I pray that I am! It's hard being the youngest in my large dysfunctional family and having to be the one to help everyone else and not feel like I have anyone to turn to for comfort. I had called out to God about this one day, upset, and He asked me a very straightforward question:
AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU??
This broke my heart because He is more than enough! We dont always get what we want and things my not be easy at times, but God is ALWAYS there! He loves us more than we know! So whether Im on the way out of my valley or not, God is with me and my hands shall stay lifted praising His name!
This summer has gone by FAST! Ive posted some of our favorite times from this summer. Below is a picture of me & my boys August 2008 & then August 2009. ALL of us have gotten bigger...unfortunately for me! BUT that is a changing! :)
They LOVED playing in their sprinkler! Many a morning the boys & I cuddled on the couch to watch Sid the Science Kid or Super Why Swimming @ my sister's in TX Rylan playing outside while I rock in my chair & drink coffee. The boys got their first dog...DAISY! Brady in VBS @ CBC & Chauffeuring Rylan in his jeep.
My best friend Ashley welcomed 2 more sons into her family this summer. They adopted Grisha from Ukraine & just last week she gave birth to Jacob!
Things are still busy around here but in a MIGHTY way! :) God has been working on me in certain areas where he'd like to use me and I am waiting and listening to do His work!
Brady started K4 & Rylan began MMO yesterday at our church. It'll be nice to have 2 days to really get some stuff done! Hopefully in September I'll be able to start some ministry work God has called me to, but first I have to get some things around my house done!
We've got to get our foundation FIXED, rooms painted, floor finished etc etc! I have done REALLY well at getting SOME things organized and keeping them that way! :) Now Brad just needs to hop on board! LoL!
I've been working out 3-4x a week and my eating habits have gotten better! Working on my goal to be in a single digit clothing size by my 30th bday in April! Wish me luck...forget luck...just pray! :)
I am also doing publicity for our church's MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group & I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I have a degree in PR but never used it because God called me to teach and then by His grace called me home to my boys! It's been so fun and a lot of HARD work putting together fliers, brochures, & newsletters. I feel the Holy Spirit is going to do some mighty things this year through this group! Please join me in praying for the women who will come. Also if you are a MOP :) try and come!
HALLELUJAH!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!! To HIM be ALL the glory the honor & the praise!!!
Can ya tell Im happy??????
The last year has been a trying one for me...to say the least! I have been working on two major issues in my life...my weight (struggles with food) & my past. Well God in the last 24 hrs has spoken to me, giving me revelations & peace in some MAJOR areas!
Ive been doing a Bible Study the last month dealing with some of my issues from my past. This has been incredibly hard and I have hated going and doing the work...its hard to face and relive it and admit all the faults I have in it! So on my way last night I was talking to my dear friend and I told her that I know there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow...its just that this rainbow seems all black & white & gray & Im ready to see some colors!
Well God showed me many wonderful colors last night!
If youve read my blog or my facebook you know this summer has been one thing after another! From sick babies, to a sick momma who always seems to stress me out :), to my brother trying to get help for his addictions, my weight, my skintag procedure, Brady's tonsillectomy, ....on and on and on...when it rains it POURS!!!
I told my husband earlier this week that I have felt SOOOO overwhelmed & that I was barely keeping my head above water & I was so scared that any moment I might give up & drown. THEN God gave me this verse:
Do not be afraid for I've ransomed you I have called you by name;you are Mine! When you go through deep waters I'll be w/you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression you will... not be burned up the flames will not consume you! For I am the Lord your God the Holy One of Israel your Savior! Isaiah 43:1b-3a
Arent those just AMAZING words!??! God told me He wasnt going to let me drown! Immediately I began to cry & thank Him for being my LIFE SUPPORT! Then I could feel me losing some tension & grief & shame & other things I felt from my past be released! Oh wow isnt God so FAITHFUL!?!!!
THen today I weighed in at my First Place Bible study to find out that I have lost 8lbs!!! This month has been hectic and I was so scared to get on that scale because I just knew I had gained 5 more lbs in the last month but no I had lost 8!!! I feel so free & excited for what GOd is doing in me! His love NEVER fails! He is always good & He keeps His promises!
I still have a long journey to take, but man o man I cant wait to see what HE continues to reveal to me!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you & not harm you. Plans to give you HOPE & a future! Then you will call upon Me & come & pray to Me & I will listen to you. You will seek Me & find Me, when you seek Me w/ALL your heart!" Jeremiah 29:11-13
Rylan before his tubes in May Brady before his surgery to remove tonsils & adenoids in August My boys shopping in style @ Kroger in July Brotherly Love in May
This summer has been nuts! Well to be honest since late April my life has been nuts! If it werent for the ever presence of God I would be locked up in Whitfield by now! Thankfully the Holy Spirit has held me up, not mention some awesome friends who check on me often and keep me lifted up in prayer. Which reminds me of one of my favorite Bible stories:
Exodus 17:10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.
I LOVE knowing that no matter how hectic my life may get, I have true CHRISTIAN gal pals that I can call on and they will lift me up to Jesus. They are my Aarons & Hurs for sure! God is always with us, His Spirit is always there no matter what it is we are going through. We need to keep praising him through our storms, keep our hands lifted high to exalt His name & when the going gets tough, call on our friends to help us keep them lifted, when all we want to do is just sit and cry. God is awesome everyday!!!
Much LOVE to all my Aarons & Hurs!!!! And when you need me to lift your arms, you know I'll be there for you!!
I am going to be as honest as I can...my life has been hard! I had a stinky childhood & adolescence & the majority of my college/adult years has been trying to overcome it & be healed and strengthen and right now I just feel BLAH!
It isnt easy going back and recounting the hurt and pain I have felt and being honest with myself about it and how it has effected me as an adult. I have downplayed how bad my life has been, because I know unfortunately some have it worse & I also like to pretend that I am strong and will survive...but that's me being prideful. The truth is I am not that strong and I still have a long way to go with my healing.
I really want to be angry & let those involved know just how angry I am and what they did was wrong and the pain and heartache it has caused me over the years. I want to walk away be done...but I cant. God has placed inside me a huge heart and no matter how bad I am treated or how hurt I get I still love those people and I still want them to be better than they are. Yet somehow I continuously get hurt & seem to be the one who lives with it everyday all the while the others never seem to have a second thought as to what they did to me...and it's probably because I keep forgiving them & letting them back in.
I want to see the world through the eyes of Christ and I want to love the world as Christ does and be compassionate...but it is hurting me and because I am not God I dont know how to really deal with it. I feel completely torn by the Christian side of me who wants to continue loving and forgiving & the human side that is mad & hurt & torn & wants to walk away and never look back.
I have realized my issues are far deeper than I ever really admitted or cared to notice. I am scared that if I cant get the proper counseling or advice on how to deal with this I am going to be unhappy & turn in to someone I dont like and become a bad influence on my children. I ask that if you are reading this that you lift me up in prayer daily so that Jesus will be the only voice I hear & the only one I follow.
I have always been a loner because I was taught by my family & friends at an early age that I could never fully depend on them & in the end when I really needed support & love, they wouldnt be there the way I needed them to be. Now as a Christian adult I have some really good friends & family that do support me & love me, and yet I find myself still feeling lonely from time to time. I often wonder if i push people away, if there's something in me that makes people not want to be around me, or if I myself am turning my back on them.??? I honestly dont know the answer. Maybe a little bit of all.
God is really working on me right now & am eagerly seeking Him on the kind of person He wants me to be. This isnt easy...in fact it's downright HARD!!! I feel weak and vulnerable and scared that satan is going to sneak in and pull me away without me noticing.
I am doing an intense Bible Study to help me with some of the issues I have & am seeking full and complete healing so in turn I can help others who have walked a similar path . The worst feeling in the world is to feel alone and believe that I dont really matter in the end. I know Christ is on my side, and if it were me alone that He had to sacrifice Himself for...He still would have done it...He is an AMAZING GOD!
And more than anything else...I dont want to displease Him! I want Him to use me for His glory & when He is done with me, to take me to be with Him! But my path isnt easy and I have to be SURE I stay on it & not try to runaway when things get tough. For I know I am truly blessed & highly favored by God!
For 10 days we were off traveling & visiting Chattanooga, TN; Massanutten Resort, VA; & Washington DC. Brady leaving his mark on DC...best vacation memory right here!!
Brady's 1st train ride! Inside a cavern...it was so cool! Playing in the hands-on section of the science museum This is how Brad carried Rylan around DC..for the most part!
Pretending to be eaten by a shark :)
@WW2 Memorial Playing the water-tag maze Such BEAUTIFUL views in the mountains!!! Flying down the mountain was a blast
I apologize for not updating lately! I have been CRAZY busy since late April...which you may have already read a post about that LOL! We just returned Saturday from a 10 day vacation & now I am teaching VBS...which is WEARING ME OUT!!!!!!! :) Plus I have Rylan's first BDAY party on Saturday! So next week I will be blogging a lot to catch up on all that's been going on!
LOVE YALL!!!!!
PS I need someone to hook my up with a new template that showcases some pics of my family at the top :) not sure where to get the hookup from!
Brady started crying when he noticed ALL the people staring @ him :( Though he didn't cry @ his school program??? I think it had been a long day of swimming and playing and he was tired. Makayla ran over to him held his hand tried to get him to smile while Gabriel kept telling him to be brave :) I am so happy Brady already has good Christian friends watching out for him!! Gabriel had NO problem singing!!! Which I knew he wouldn't...he sings all the time. If anyone reading this doesn't know Gabriel he is my best friend's lil boy who is staying with us for a lil while his parents are in Ukraine adopting the cute lil fellow you see to the right on my blog :) Gabriel did ALL the motions and had a good ol' time! The only problem were the girls that were standing in front of Gabriel and Brady...they kept covering them up so it was hard to get pics...I think it should be illegal for a lil girl to wear a bow that big LOL just kidding! Brady started to warm up after a lil while...but instead of singing... ...he started playing peek a boo with me...yes OUT LOUD! :) He'd look at me in the audience and say, "Peek a boo" over and over LOL I loved it!!! This is Makayla & Brady...she LOVES him to death!!! She is definitely an Alpha-Female and makes sure NO ONE messes with her Brady LOL Makayla, gabriel & Brady were known as the "3 Musketeers" by their King Singers teachers :) After the program we came home and the boys decided to play outside and take turns pushing Rylan It was an AWESOME and HILARIOUS evening!!!
I bought a slip & slide from Walmart the other day...only $5!!!!! The kids enjoyed soooo much and cant wait til it warms up again so they can do it some more! Rylan had a blast! Here comes Gabriel! Brady slid right off & into some mud! Britany is a big kid!! Gabriel wasn't so sure about it. Nothing like a nice warm bubble bath to wash away the mud & grass! :)
