Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Christianity is a TEAM sport!

Well leave it to God to have me pour out my heart and then reveal His truths (well some of them) to me :) Almost immediately after my friend blog I received a text from a pal I hadnt really talked to in awhile & it was just a simple bit of encouragement. Which reminded me of a saying that I love, "The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention." Her little text gave me such peace that night which led me to praying for her and her family.

The very next day in what would seem to be random, except I dont believe in random things cause God orchestrates everything, I ran into another gal I hadnt seen in a while we just began chatting and she just asked me to pray for her because she had been in a funk lately, not wanting to go to church even though she loved it but everytime she saw certain people she just felt discouraged. She really couldnt explain her feelings but I was able to share with her what God had been working on me in the last few months. That it isnt PEOPLE we wrestle with. That Ephesians 6:12 says For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Even with ourselves, we are constantly in a spiritual war where we constantly have to fight against our own sin nature and others. Satan would love nothing more than to keep this lady from church and from other Christian women. I was INCREDIBLY excited to see her at church last Sunday! :)

I could write about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE God has put before me since I poured out everything on here, but I wont...I'll just say that I see what God needed to do in me.

I used to be a professed loner but had gotten too attached to needing people. It's sometimes easier to call up your best friend and vent or brag about what is going on in your life than to lift it up to God first. I had even began relying on my friends to share my feeling with over my own husband. My thought was, "Well they understand me better cause they are women and he is a man." And I know my gal pals can relate to my feelings better cause they're women too, but my husband should know me better than them. I need to share stuff with him so he can pray for me too and know what's going on in my lil woman universe.

Ephesians 6:12 has really helped me not to take things too personally. Also listening to John Piper talk about making war against your own sin. Yes people say and do things that hurt us, but we have to remember they are also in their own spiritual battle and instead of getting too angry with them, we have got to PRAY for them and the battle they're in. This has also taught me PATIENCE! Slowly and surely anyway ;P

Instead of making an immediate decision as to why certain things happen or don't happen I just have to lift up these things to God, pray for the other person, for myself and for the battle we are in. Satan has already been defeated so there is no need to allow him to sneak in and make me are anyone else stumble.

Bro David said something VERY profound Sunday night, "Christianity is a TEAM sport!"

We are not in this world alone! He has made us apart of ONE body, the body of Christ. HE has blessed us with brothers and sisters to sharpen us, to pray for us, to even be our hero when the time comes. Bro. David spoke about King David and how when he went to kill Goliath he had 5 stones, but he only needed to use one.

Later on descendants of Goliath came to kill David and David being a mighty warrior with 4 stones left could have taken them out! But God had a plan for 4 of David's friends to be his hero and kill these descendants for David instead. This probably strengthened their relationships.

So God began to remind me of some ladies who had been my heroes in the last few months. During the most HORRIBLE time of my pregnancy weeks 7-9 when I couldn't even get our of bed or leave the toilet God sent a sweet neighbor to watch my kids for me, my husband missed work and my niece gave up her personal time @ college to come & help me. Others checked in a lot and sent me texts reminding me they were praying for me. And I must say, it wasn't as bad this round as with my previous pregnancies.

One night I was at church feeling completely alone and down trying to put on a happy face at TeenMops when God would orchestrate this AMAZING lady who I had never met before to be my prayer partner. She was my hero that night! I was able to cry to her & felt completely free to just be open and she has been an incredible prayer warrior for me since and God keeps using her and her husband to encourage me at various times.

God also shown me how I have been able to be a hero to others as well. All the while I think I was fighting one battle, it was something else, and God was bringing new people in my life through various things and teaching me so much more about myself and His Word. And He is still teaching me which is how it should be :)

I am so grateful I am not alone in this battle! God is always there and He has blessed me with some amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. All I have to do is reach up to Him, reach out in prayer for others and keep my armor on when enemy tries to lie to me and make me stumble.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Rylan's 1st day of MMO

Well my lil fella is 2 & getting to go to Mom's Morning Out at our church 2 mornings a week. I'm very excited for him to get to play & learn with other lil kiddos his age. I'm extremely grateful that he has my friend Danielle for a teacher! She's a former elementary teacher & a momma of 2 boys so I know without a doubt he is going to learn a lot from her!

It is a lil bittersweet for me. He never throws a big fit when I leave him somewhere but he always gives me these pouty faces like he's saying, "I'd rather be with you mommy!" But I know he is going to love it and Brady & I need the lil break to focus on homeschooling. Plus when baby K gets here Im going to be even more thankful for those Tuesday & Thursday mornings with one less child to have a little break.

Mrs. Danielle told me he had a good day and was very sweet & even sang the Itsy Bitsy Spider for her. His only glitch was when he saw his cousin Britany who is also teaching MMO, out on the playground. Apparently he threw a big fit when he had to leave her, but otherwise had a great day.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Fading Friendships

So for many many months I have had some struggles with some friendships. I cant say it's anyone's fault, just the way it is. This time last year if you wouldve asked I would have told I had 3 best friends. Each a Godly woman, each different, but yet so incredibly special to me in a different way. Since 2010 has began each of these friendships has pretty much fizzled for different reasons, some I cant even say why because I dont know why. Not that Im by any means enemies with them, just that there isnt much of a relationship at all anymore. Things are always kind and nice, but the relationship has definitely changed.

Ive cried out to God many many many times concerning these friendships plus some others that have faded away for one reason or another. I want to know WHY? WHAT HAPPENED? DID I DO SOMETHING? But God has only told me to not worry or be anxious about them. That He is here.

Of course He is absolutely ALL I need. If everyone, friends, family, my kids, husband etc were to leave me I would be ok. He is ALL I need. And I have to hold on to that.

He's giving me small answers and has shown me different things about these relationships and even more things about myself. Some I like; some I DO NOT :) It's never easy to have my bad stuff about pointed out! But my fervent prayer since February is that He will continue to grow me & change me because my ultimate goal in life is to be more like Him. So maybe the fading of these friendships is apart of it???

In high school I had 3 girl friends and the rest were guys. Guys are much more simpler and less catty. Plus MANY girls in school were very mean to me and did some very hateful things to me, ex pour coke in my back pack, steal books out of my locker, put gross things in my locker, spread awful and VERY hurtful rumors about me and so on. This plus a bad relationship with my mom taught me that females CANNOT be trusted. They may act like your friend but eventually they will just hurt you.

God really worked on me about these issues. I finally had my 1st girl best friend when I was 20, but give her 3 years and a bad boyfriend and she was a completely different person. This pushed me further away from wanting any close female relationships. When I rededicated my life to Christ I was too fearful of telling anyone about my past because I was sure they would hate me and yet that drove a bigger wedge between me and friendships with girls.

Slowly and surely God brought some awesome Christian ladies into my life that I was able to open up to and trust. This wall I had built up against women was surely beginning to fall. That college bff called me out of the blue a few years ago and apologized and completely opened up about the things she had been going through. God has truly mended that relationship and we try to see each other once a year, but we are always a text or call away to check in with and pray for :)

One of those best friends I had a year ago recently sent me a letter of apology and gratitude for something we went through in January. Things had been ok between us because both us being Christian women we knew we couldnt harbor bad feelings against each other, we had to let go and forgive and move on. I had been praying and praying for this friend. That God would just some how help me to let go entirely of everything, because the Bible says we wrestle against spirits and evil forces, NOT against flesh and blood.

As I was cleaning the kitchen one day she was HEAVILY on my heart and as I cleaned I just kept praying for her, for myself, for our relationship. I took a break to check the mail and there was her letter. I just sat down and cried tears of PURE joy! Her letter was everything I had been praying for! God heard my cries and healed me and this relationship. Slowly she and I are talking more and though our friendship wont ever be the same, I know without one doubt it will be MUCH better than before, because I know Christ has grown each of us in the last 8 months in many areas and this rift has brought about some things in myself that I didnt want to see, but needed to be convicted of. So it was all worth it!

Now the other relationships have changed not because of any rift, no argument or disagreement, at least that Im aware of, and to be honest that bugs me the most! It's easier if you can pinpoint a reason, but here again, I truly believe this is God teaching me a lesson and wanting me to draw closer to Him through this loneliness.

And that's right I have been LONELY! I miss having a gal pal that I can call up and vent to, chat with about whatever or just simply sit and have coffee with and talk about nothing in particular. I had finally learned to love and enjoy having female friends and now it's different. I have friends who invite us over for playdates or coffee but the relationships arent like the others were, like family. But maybe that will also change in time. I really hope they do.

Im not all sure what God is trying to do with me in all of this or with these other ladies, but I trust Him and I know He works everything together for the good of those who love Him. And I dont doubt that any of these ladies love Him!

I can put myself out there over and over but as I was recently remind by a Tweet Rev. Run from Run DMC said (yep that's right :) ) He said stop holding on to people who dont want to be held. If someone has a reason to not want to be your friend there's not a thing you can do to change it. And it doesnt do any good to be mad or to keep trying. You just have to let go until they decide they want you in their life again or if at all.

That seems so harsh to me, but I know if I dont just let go and fully give it over to God nothing good will happen. I have to trust Him and His plan for me and these relationships. And I cant put walls back up against future female relationships because it will hinder my walk with Him and I could end up missing out on some other amazing ladies to call friend.

So only time and patience will tell and I SINCERELY look forward to the day I can update this subject with many great things and answered prayers! :)

So if youre reading this and you have a best friend give a call, invite them out for coffee and dinner and most of all, thank God for them!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Matthew 19:14

Each week in Brady's curriculum he has a Scripture to memorize. I was amazed at how fast he learned it :)

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to Me & do not forbid them; for such is the Kingdom of Heaven.'" Matthew 19:14

Brady starts Kindergarten!

Well of course he has a GREAT teacher in his mommy ;) We've only been at it a week but I cant be more thankful that God has called our family to homeschooling! I love our new curriculum! It's completely Christ centered and challenges my lil braniac's mind all the while teaching him not just academics but also the Word of God! Here are some pics from our 1st week.