Thursday, October 27, 2011

Truth about LIFE

In Mississippi there is a lot of buzz about a new amendment being proposed to voters. Amendment 26 if passed will end abortion & cloning our state. Mississippi would then be the 1st & only state to stand up against abortion, though it wouldn't completely be able to overturn Roe vs Wade. Right now there is only one abortion clinic & it has been under fire for years due to the abortion doctor's bad choices. I know a lawyer who has a case a against him & the clinic & I pray it gets shut down soon.

Along with Amendment 26 comes a lot of misguided lies about what this amendment will or will not do. Those against it say it will ban birth control, stop invitrofertilization, choose for a mother to die over a baby, & could even have mothers arrested for murder if they miscarry. How absurd!!! This amendment will end abortion in the clinic, stop other clinics from opening, end cloning research on human embryos, & discontinue abortifacients type drugs, which are not THE PILL :)

If the amendment gets passed then it will have to go to our state's legislation who then lay the groundwork for the new law. Amendment 26 is meant for good not harm which cannot be stated for abortion.

As Christians we have got to start sticking up for what the Bible teaches & not what we fear because Scripture teaches us to not fear & to stick up for those who can't speak for themselves & I'm certain an unborn child falls into that category.

If you are a Mississippian I ask that you spend a great amount of time in prayer before you vote. Do not let the lies & scare tactics sway you from God's truth. If you are not a Mississippian I pray that you will pray for our state on this issue & your own state.

Many people agree that a woman who gets pregnant from rape or incest should be allowed to have an abortion. I disagree. A month before my 18th birthday I was drugged & raped by a high school guy I would have considered to be a good friend. I ended up getting pregnant from that rape. This is the first time I have ever blogged about this, but I need to share. A week before my rape a friend & I were being silly & video recording ourselves doing skits & such. On that tape I said that I believed abortion was wrong (and I meant it!) & that even IF I ever got raped I wouldn't have an abortion. (Famous last words!)

I won't go into all the details, but my home life was horrible. I was already depressed (though I didn't know that) & I was scared out of my mind to tell anyone the truth. I told the guy that if he paid for the abortion I would have one. I basically wanted to run away from my problems, but I have learned the hard way, you CANNOT run from your troubles no matter what! You have to face them!

I went into the clinic & told the "counselor" I was raped but really didn't want to have an abortion, but I didn't know what else to do. Her response, "Ok, sign this paper saying you understand what will happen during the procedure." That was it. My counseling. No warnings about about the emotions & such I would face afterward, the pain, my breast swelling & filling with milk, etc. Ok honestly, it was all in this packet I got, but no one verbally told me anything. Here I was a scared 18 year old girl who just went through a traumatic event & was having to make the hardest decision of my life, completely alone. I NEEDED someone to talk to.

I thought that having the abortion meant it would just all go away, I moved from TX to MS to get away from it all, but it never left me. Horrible nightmares plagued me for years about my rape & my abortion. Suicide attempts were made, constant drinking to numb my pain; I was a wreck. Years later when I finally got some real counseling I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). At 19 I got saved & things were looking up. I knew Jesus forgave me & was able to forgive my rapist, my mom, friends I told, but didn't stop me (I blamed a lot of people). But I could not in ANY way forgive myself!!!

What I did to my child was FAR worse than what my rapist did to me! No child should be punished because of the sins of the parents. My child was innocent.

When I transferred to my university I found myself alone again. All my Christian friends went to different schools, my boyfriend (who is now my husband) was working 4 hours away, & Satan saw a perfect opportunity to ravage me. And because I was so eat up with guilt & fear & shame & worthlessness, I let him. Nightmares came back worse than ever & the drinking got worse than ever. I remember begging God to tell me my baby's name because the Bible says He calls us by name & I wanted to know my child's name! He told my his name was Joshua. That gave me some peace, but now when the nightmares came I could see my little boy's face so clearly it made it harder to sleep.

 I finally threw myself on the altar at church one Sunday morning & begged God to break me of this cycle. He told me that He loved me & I could feel His arms wrapped tightly around me. I never took another drink & the nightmares stopped. About a year later I was married & pregnant with baby number 2, my sweet Brady. Unfortunately I still couldn't forgive myself & continued to listen to the lies of Satan.

"You can't tell anyone! These Christians wont understand! They already know you're not good enough! It's too shameful! Your friends will leave you! You'll have to leave your church! You'll bring shame to your husband! What mother could forgive herself?!" etc etc etc. I believed every single LIE!

When I was pregnant with my 2nd born (Rylan) I was at church one Sunday & God reminded me that 10 years ago that day I was pregnant with my first son Joshua. He wanted me to see how far He had brought me. :) He told me that Joshua was another name for Yeshua, which means JESUS! Joshua means "The Lord is my salvation." It was because of my rape & abortion that took me to the lowest pits of hell. But I had a love for that sweet baby that made me run toward Jesus. My son Joshua helped lead me to Christ. We gave Rylan the middle name Joshua in honor of his brother. :)

A couple years ago I did a post-abortive Bible study at a local CPC (Center for Pregnancy Choices) & it was terribly hard! I had to relive every moment of my rape & abortion, but it was necessary for my recovery. During the 6th week God gave me Isaiah 43:1b-3a

"“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through rough waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through raging rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior!"

The moment I read that verse I was HEALED!!!! No more shame, guilt, fear, worry, or worthless feelings! I felt like a new woman! I WAS a new woman!!! Jesus set me free & Satan couldn't lie to me about it anymore! Praise GOD! Jesus also gave me "beauty for ashes" with blessing me with my 3 sweet boys, Brady, Rylan, & Keller!!

At the end of the Bible study we had memorials for our babies that had been aborted. You see they were REAL HUMANS!!! Not tissue!! Not a mass! REAL BABIES THAT WERE ALIVE!!! We honored them & called them by name. This December Joshua would have been 13 years old. I am ever so grateful for my Redeemer! I know without any doubt that someday when my life on earth is over I will be reunited with him in Heaven! We serve a LOVING GOD! A loving God who can cleanse every spot, wash away every sin no matter "how bad" that sin is! A loving God who I believe with every part of my being would want us (ALL CHRISTIANS) to vote YES on 26! Because LIFE matters. He is the Creator of LIFE!

Think about it! I got pregnant by rape-unplanned, God created Joshua, not me, not my rapist. My other 3 boys were planned, but I did not create them, GOD DID! Men & women who struggle with infertility cannot create life! ONLY GOD CAN! Even those who go through IVF, the parents & the dr.s cannot make those embryos implant into the mother's womb so perfectly that life is sustained, ONLY GOD CAN! Miscarriages happen all the time for so many reasons, most unknown, but GOD created that life & ONLY HE DESERVES the RIGHT to end it! NO ONE ELSE!!

This whole pro-life pro-choice thing is far bigger than I think we realize! Please do not let fear & lies stop you from voting YES! Don't let anything stop you from praying that abortion will end & that those who have already made that choice will find healing & salvation. Don't let Satan fill your mind & heart with lies. Seek God's Word. Stand up for TRUTH! Protect those who cannt protect themselves! (Proverbs 31:8)

I pray blessings to you all! I pray I was able to speak truth in love & that my passion didn't overshadow the love I really have for EVERY human life. :) Have a blessed week & never doubt how much JESUS LOVES YOU!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Fun @ the state fair!!!

Here are some pictures from our fabulous time at the state fair a couple weeks ago. As you will see we had an AMAZINGLY fun time! My wonderful husband took off work 1/2 a day & precious niece came home from college to go with us. I love doing fun things together as a family & making memories! Hope you enjoy!

 The bumble bee ride is always the 1st ride we hit every year for the last 3 years :)
 We felt like Superman flying around! Below is my husband & nephew Dylan.

 Here's my darling niece Britany with the boys.

 There's a SUPER HUGE slide that's always a big hit with my boys! I think they did it at least 5x!

 The log ride was our favorite! They actually let Rylan ride the 1st time down.

 Good daddy riding many of the rides with the boys!
 Keller didn't get to ride anything, well except the Ferris Wheel (later on), but he had fun people watching & hanging out.
 Brady was SO scared he started crying but I got him to laughing & he wanted to ride it again!
 As you see below we hit up the log ride again, this time with daddy. Love our faces!

 Bumper cars are always a hit! ;P

 Brady rode this dropping ride in TX this summer & cried the whole time! But this time he laughed the whole time! He's getting VERY brave!

 I married a sweet daddy!
 All of my boys on the ferris wheel

 And per tradition, we always end the night with the petting zoo!

We had such a great time! What things do you like to do with your family?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Laundry Low Down!

 I don't know about y'all, but I DETESTED laundry! With 5 people in my family it's never ending! I mean it's me, my Mr., & three boys ages 6, 3, & 11 months, so it had become quite consuming!

I was doing on average about 2 loads almost every day & it became so tedious that I would just skip that day & the next day I had double my work so I put it off until I had a HUGE pile on my couch. I remember feeling so discouraged that I let myself get so behind.

During the boys' nap/quiet time I decided to tackle it. I turned on the TV to catch up on my DVR & went to work. I was amazed at how quick it went by. I mean I actually sorted, folded, hung up, & put away about 8 loads in what seemed like no time at all! That's when my new plan came into place!

Instead of doing laundry everyday, I have 1 BIG day, with 2 smaller days. I start on Sunday afternoon washing & emptying them on one of our couches once they've dried. We go to church on Sunday nights so I don't even bother folding them because we can usually get pretty busy. I continue the washing, drying dumping cycle on Monday morning in between waking up, getting breakfast fixed, & doing school.

I pull out any clothes that need to be hung up & lay them over the top of our other couch sorted by each person. Around 1pm it's nap/quiet time & all the boys are shoved away for about 2 hours. This is when the Laundry Low Down begins!!

I put on some music or a TV show on the DVR & attack the massive pile all at once! I forgot to take a picture of the massive pile, but below is my sorting process.

This is couch #2 where you can see our hanging clothes laid out on the top sorted by person. On the cushions are mine & my husband's folded clothes sorted by which drawers or shelf they'll go in.

Here's our coffee table where I sort the boys' folding clothes.

When the massive pile has been depleted I sit down & hang the clothes on the back of the couch & when the boys are up enjoying their snacks & playing I immediately put away all of the clothes. Then I am free from clothes laundry unless something comes up unexpected. Wednesday I do all of our dirty towels & rags which is usually about 1 or 2 loads & Friday I wash our bedding.

The only MAJOR laundry day is Monday is it's no longer overwhelming. It's actually kind of peaceful because I'm getting alone time to watch something non-kid related :) & I'm getting a lot of work done quickly & efficiently! Although I do admit, I still long for a nice laundry room with shelves, a sink, ironing board etc. But until then I have found a system that works for me!

So what's your laundry low down like?

Monday, October 10, 2011

What the BLOG is this??!!??

Heh! Pretty good title right?!

When I first started this blog it was my everything kind of blog. Family, homeschooling, life, relationships, journey with Jesus, etc etc etc. Since becoming a full fledge homeschooling momma I realized I needed a blog completely devoted to homeschool, but I didn't know what to do with this one.

Over the last few years my life has changed SO much! I went from being a working mother of one to a homeschool/stay at mom of 3 & counting (no I am not pregnant now, but we do want more).

I have had the great honor of having some incredible best friends to them disappearing, completely reopening old wounds of my issues with females (that's a whole other blog, can't dive into that now).

I went from being so ashamed of my past I carried an intense amount of fear of people finding out to being completely set free & healed by my Redeemer & speaking openly about it when the opportunity arose.

I went from living emotionally to living spiritually & understanding the real meaning of Ephesians 6:12 & battling the emotions constantly.

I have grown leaps & bounds in my Christian walk & now see I still have leaps & bounds to go. I have a new hunger & desire for God & His Word that can't be fulfilled by Bible studies & church alone. I want to truly eat the Bread of God, to drink His cup of Living Water, to not settle for the Southern Baptist status quo of Christianity!

I have a new desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman. To be a 1 Peter 3 wife. To be the mom my kids deserve. To be the walking testimony of how much Jesus loves us.

So that's what this blog is going to be. My Jesus Journey. Just me sharing my quest to become that Proverbs 31 woman, that 1 Peter 3 wife, my quest to be all Christ wants me to be & to not settle for anything less.

I want to be open & honest about my struggles with food, my wounds, my accomplishments, my failures, my fears, my relationships, my life.

I want to share recipes, my job as a housewife, tips from cleaning to having a stronger marriage, to share love & laughter & maybe even some tears (ok probably A LOT of tears because I am a crier). *smiles*

I hope you follow along with me & encourage me, converse with me, share your own tips, struggles, joys etc. God didn't mean for us to be alone in life. As Christ followers we are family. The STRONGEST family there is because we are covered by the Blood of Christ.

Blessings to you all have a wonderful week!