Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Brady's Birth Story

After the unideal pregnancy I had I was beyond ready to give birth! I had a epidural, do whatever I could to have Brady naturally. 

We got to the hospital the day I was 36 weeks pregnant. It was a dark, cool spring morning. We were there right on time at 5:30am. They got us to our room, hooked me up & then the nurse asked me the most horrible thing! She asked me to roll over to my side so she could give me an enema!!! An EN-E-MA!!! I sooooooo did not know that was going to happen & I still have bad memories from that incident in case you can't tell!!! LoL!!

So after that most horrifying moment, they began the drip of pitocin to get things moving along. But they didn't. I labored for 6 hours & only got to 2 cm. my blood pressure started to rise so I gave in to get the epidural to help me relax. Right before the nurse who had been with me was off work & a new nurse came in. I did not like the new nurse! She was rude as rude can be on what should've been the most joyful day of my life. During the epidural it was hard for me to relax. It's scary knowing a big needle is going into your spine! Then they made Brad leave the room & I got stuck with nurse meany-head for comfort! I wish I had known what a doula was back then because I certainly would've had one!

I could not bend over the right way to open up a good place for the needle to go. I was severely large from the weight I gained plus swollen like the marshmallow man from the preeclampsia & toxemia. So nurse poopy pants had to get right on top of my shoulders & push me down. MORTIFIED again. I wanted to cry & just leave. 

Finally Brad came back & I tried to relax but it did no good. By 5:30 pm I had only dilated to 3 1/2, my blood pressure was constantly rising & Brady's heart rate was showing signs of distress. A c-section it was.

 Now I have watched A Baby Story many many times & whenever they aired an episode of a woman having a c-section, she was covered & awake & all was well. 

That's not my story!

First of all they made Brad leave again, loaded my Shamu-sized body onto the table, opened my gown so I was completely naked & exposed (goodbye what little modesty I had left!), then they strapped my arms down like Jesus on the Cross! All I could think was, "They did NOT show this on TLC!!!!"

Finally I was abled to be covered again & Brad was by my side. I was told I would feel tugging & pulling but no pain. That tugging & pulling was THE most awkward feeling I had ever felt! My body just shook from one side to the other, rocking & swaying as they did their thing on the other side of the curtain. Then it happened...



What was this I was feeling?? I wasn't suppose to be feeling anything!!!


Burning....uh oh


I told the nurse I could feel pain, but she didn't believe me! I told Brad & began to panic! The next thing I know I have an oxygen mask on & Brad is being whisked away again!!!!


As my eyes started to flicker open I could make out a blurry version of Brad. He said I would start talking then just stop & stare at him as if I had forgotten who I was. I apparently kept doing this. I was in recovery, but couldn't see Brady yet. I do remember telling Brad MANY times over the next few weeks that I would NEVER do that AGAIN!! NEVER! ;P

They let my dad back to see me, I'm sure because he was going to beat the door down if he couldn't see with his own eyes that I was ok. They eventually let my niece Britany in who said I kept asking her if she was touching me, to which she was not, though I kept demanding that she or someone was. But was just the drugs wearing off.

Once I was more coherent they brought Brady in to nurse. The first time I saw him I was scared I named him the wrong name or that they brought me the wrong baby (still the drugs). He immediately began nursing like a champ & has been a great eater ever since! As I nursed him there was no doubt that he was mine! My precious, sweet Brady. My second chance. Redemption. I melted.

At 36 weeks gestation, Brady was born weighing 8 lbs 15 oz at 6:30 pm March 16, 2005!!! Chubby cheeks, dark black hair, & red-skinned. Brad wasn't sure he was his, said he looked like an Indian baby...the pic above was lightened so its hard to tell, but there's no denying Brad's the daddy ;P

I adore this picture of my amazing dr praying over Brady in the nursery with Brad!!

I'd like to say the story continues to be happy now, but is doesn't...

After laboring all day, being sat on by nurse rudeness, the tugging & pulling during the c-section, the panic attack I had during, my body was completely worn out! During the night another nurse came in & had to press on my belly to make sure my uterus was going back down...let me tell you...this HURT!! By the 3rd time she came in I begged her not to touch me, to please just let me sleep! I pleaded, "Please leave me alone! I hurt everywhere! I'll sign a waiver!" This nurse looked no older than 12 years old, yet she had the determination of a rattle snake & came towards me as I started bawling my eyes out! Thankfully my knight in shining scrubs got between the nurse & I & he told her NO, she had to leave me alone & let me rest! Thankfully we did not see her again, & the rest of the nurses I had were extra gentle & kind!

The next day I was still in a lot of pain & really didn't want many visitors. My iron had dropped & my blood pressure went from too high to too low. That evening I was finally able to shower with a lot of help from Brad. When I tell you my body hurt, Im not exaggerating! I didn't want to breathe I hurt so bad even though I was taking my pain meds. 

As I was trying to eat dinner, the first real food in over 24 hours, Brad's mom & brother came to visit as well as some of his co-workers. My hair was still wrapped up in a towel on my head & I did not want to see anyone! Then it happened...

A co-worker wanted to take pictures, but I told her no, I was not up for that. She was welcome to snap some of Brady & Brad, but none of me. She kept persisting that I would want these some day & then raised her camera & took one. It set off another panic attack in me & I  couldn't breathe again. My arms & hands stiffened & was frozen in fear. It sounds silly, but I had been through the ringer physically & emotionally, a picture was the last thing I wanted. I was mortified & freaked out, but you know what...every co-worker left! :)

The next day I started feeling a little better & allowed my sister Kim to take a family photo of us.

The story of Brady will continue on another day...oh & all those panic attacks were caused by an infection I had in my heart that we didn't know about at the time.

If you've never given birth I hope my story didnt scare you! It gets better & I ended up having 3 great births after this & plan for more :)

Monday, March 10, 2014

Brady's Beginnings

I didn't have a blog when my oldest was a baby, so in honor of our Brady-man turning 9 on Sunday I'll be sharing all about our lil Boudreaux this week!

Three months after Brad & I were married we had the bright idea to start a family. We then immediately decided we should wait at least a year, but low & behold it was too late! I found out I was expecting Brady July 21, 2004.

 My stepdad had recently passed away & I was in TX staying with my mom. I mentioned to my sister Mignon I was a day late, but assumed it was the stress of losing Richard. Mignon insisted I was pregnant & bought me a $1 pregnancy test from the Dollar General. You know the kind where you have to pee in cup & use a dropper to transfer it to the actual test!? It felt like doing a science experiment & I was sure I wasn't pregnant because after all, we had only "tried" one time then decided we needed to wait until after our one year anniversary. 

Well I was wrong & knew it when that 2nd faint line showed up! It didn't seem real! And Brad was all the way back in MS! I immediately called him & told him our good news! He too, was just as shocked as I was! 

Everything seemed fine & normal until my 7th week when I began viciously vomiting! To make matters worse I had just started teaching my 1st year of school & every smell of those sweet 4th graders made me puke! I ended up losing 27lbs that 1st trimester! But I gained it ALL back plus an extra 50! 

By my 12th week I was able to eat...& eat...& eat & eat & eat!! Food had NEVER tasted soooooo gooooood!!!! And my belly just kept on growing! This is when I found out how mean some women can be! I was saddened at how many women felt the need to tell me how HUGE I was! That's exactly what a woman wants to hear when she's pregnant :/

Nonetheless I was happy & loving the feel of Brady move around in my womb! This helped me heal a lot from my abortion & couldn't stop thanking God for giving me a 2nd chance to be a momma! I had no doubt I would never take this gift for granted!

My 2nd trimester was going great & I was already in nesting mode! One day I was scrubbing our kitchen floor, got up too quick & slipped with a hard landing! We decided to be cautious & went to the hospital to make sure Brady was ok. She put the monitors on & left me, but then the nurse checked the results & quickly left. She cane back in questioning me about being only 24 weeks. I assured that I was, she checked my charts & I was...but she looked puzzled. She then asked me if I was taking anything other than my prenatal vitamin & I told her I was also taking Omegaplex by Advocare. She jotted that down & bolted out the door! Brad & I were a bit scared. We were told it was safe to take omegas while I was pregnant. At this point in time they weren't part of prenatals. The nurse finally came back in with the on-call dr who told us Brady was great! His brain results were advanced for a 24 week gestational baby, that he was on level with that of a 28 week gestational baby! The dr asked if she could send Brady's results to a study that was being done on taking omegas during pregnancy & sure enough not long afterwards they were a part of ALL prenatal vitamins! 

The 2nd trimester continued to go well, but my 3rd was very troublesome! I kept swelling up even though my blood pressure was fine. I started to not sleep well because I couldn't breathe or get comfortable. My favorite part was feeling Brady have the hiccups inside me! My belly would jiggle with each one! My least favorite part was the unending acid reflux! It felt like fire racing up & down my esophagus! Anytime Brady would get to moving too vigorously at night I would sing Jesus Loves Me & he immediately calmed down. It worked after he was born too! Another thing Brady liked to listen to while in the wombvwas hip hop or anything with a good beat! I swear he kicked to the rhythm! 

By week 32 I was MISERABLE! At work one day I was walking down the hall after taking my students to their elective & started seeing spots & couldn't breathe! I was terrified I was going to pass out! I could see the outline of a young boy & I remember telling him to get his teacher...the next thing I knew I was sitting on a bench with a huge fan blowing air on me, wet paper towels on my head & neck & many teachers were gathered around me praying. As I looked up, however, I saw my two principals shaking their heads, arms crossed, whispering to one another & looking at me with disgust as if me passing out offended them!! (More on these two later).

Brad quickly came & took me to the hospital & sure enough I was in early labor! They gave me lots of meds to make the labor stop & some to help me rest. I was diagnosed with toxemia/preeclampsia.  I was put on mandatory bed rest. If I walked down the hall in our apartment to the kitchen, my contractions would start back up. I basically could only get up to go to the bathroom & to my dr. I had to have Brad leave food on my night stand & a big cup of water...not that I felt like eating anymore. 

I was really bummed about having my baby showers canceled, but the lovely ladies from our old church brought a baby shower to me! My sweet sister in law Elizabeth also finished decorating Brady's room. It was a fun night!

At my check up at 34 weeks Brady was measuring over 7 lbs! My dr suggested I get an amniocentesis to be sure Brady's lungs were developed so she could induce me at 36 weeks. I told her no because I was frightened! She told me she would not induce me without one & if I went full-term Brady could weigh 12 lbs at the rate he was growing! So I chose to have one. As soon as I walked into the room the nurse said, "Why haven't you been following your diet!!!??" She was really rude about it! I asked her what diet she was talking about & she said my gestational diabetes diet. I passed my test & was told I was fine, but the nurse was right, the amino showed my sugars were sky high & I did in fact have a late onset gestational diabetes!

When the amino began I was crying & scared out of my mind. Brady had put his elbow up as if to block the needle. The nurse told me I needed to talk to him to help him calm down & move so they could finish. As soon as I started rubbing the side of my belly & talking to him, he put his arm down & they finished. The results showed his lungs were fully formed & we scheduled his birthday to be March 16, 2005. 

To be continued...

Sunday, March 9, 2014

A tiny foothold goes a long way...

Last week I gave satan a foothold by comparing my weight loss journey to others. I thought surely I would be losing just like them & started weighing myself every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I know without any doubt the number on the scale doesn't define me & I know comparison is a joy stealer, but I gave satan this foothold without even realizing it. I was up ALL last night in a panic having a down right anxiety attack feeling like this stupid issue would never be resolved. 

I mean I know The Lord is my Healer. Jesus has saved me, led me through many journeys, healed me, restored me, & made me new concerning some very deep & hard issues & it's so frustrating to still battle with this one!! 

But I know He not only cares for me, but He loves me more than I can comprehend! He doesn't want me to be defeated & to let satan bully me around & sidetrack me. God made me a fighter! And I know if I wasn't a threat to Satan & his kingdom he certainly wouldn't be bothering me! I've been through this time & time again, but Im human...I sometimes forget to watch where Im letting satan in.

The Holy Spirit really spoke some clear words to me this morning as I was bawling my eyes out in defeat. And after He did I rose up & remembered Whose I was & there was NOTHING I couldn't do with Jesus on my side!! 

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Our Promise of God

With each pregnancy I get a horrible case of hyperemesis the first trimester. With Chapel it thankfully wasn't as intense, but still pretty bad! When I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant I had a dream I was in a small church praying at the altar. A bright light was shining on the altar & I heard God say, 

"Her name is Chapel Elise."

I immediately woke up & told Brad. He gave me a simple smile & said, "We'll see." Pretty sure he didn't want me to get my hopes up. :) That morning we decide to go to church & had planned to ask a prayer warrior I know to pray over me for my sickness. When I asked, she told me she felt like our pastor had a word for us. 

He prayed over me & for the baby & then he looked right at me & said he had a stirring in his spirit that this child would fulfill a promise of God.

Of course just hearing that made me bawl my eyes out! I knew deep inside this baby was a girl! When we sat down to eat lunch I decided to look up the name Elise to see what it meant. The first definition I found said, 

"Our God is a vow, a promise of God." 

Again tears filled my eyes! I had no doubt she was a she! God was giving me the daughter He promised me years earlier.

For years I had longed for a mother-daughter relationship like my friends had, like my sister-in-laws had with their moms. They'd go shopping together, have lunch, their moms were always there for them to talk to, to watch or help with their kids, their moms were now their friends, their closest confidants. I don't have any of that with my own mom.  Not just because she lives far away, but because she's not that kind of mom anyway. 

Around Mother's Day 2009 I was driving around listening to K-Love & all week long they were asking people to call in & tell happy, exciting stories about their mothers. Mother's Day was already hard for me. One reason because of my past abortion & the other was because I felt like I couldn't celebrate my mom because I still had a lot of issues with her. So when I heard this on K-Love for the thousandth time I lost it. I screamed at the radio & then burst into tears! Then as clear as a bell I heard God speak,

"Am I not enough for you?"

I told Him that YES! Of course He was! Then He said,

"Let Me be your Father & your Mother. You will have a daughter someday & you will be the mother to her you've longed for your mother to be to you. Let Me mother you & you be that kind of mother to your daughter."

I wept the rest of the way home, but was completely comforted. I knew I could trust Him. The next year I got pregnant with Keller, but felt no remorse about having a 3rd son. I knew in time I would have a daughter like God promised. Until then, I was going to fully enjoy the precious fellas I had been blessed with.

Fast forward back to December 2012 where this story began & you can see why I had no doubt this baby was a girl! Another cool thing God did to show me this child was a girl before the sonogram was when we got her baby furniture. I had never had a matching set & showed Brad a picture of a beautiful bed, changing table & armoire I wanted if this baby was a girl. Well some friends from church gave us their daughter's set & said they believed The Lord was calling them to give it to us. Well wouldn't you know it was the EXACT set I wanted!!! I love how The Lord lavishes His children with gifts & blessings!

I pray that He will bless us with more children, maybe a sister for Chapel to play with :) Ha! Only time will tell! Until then, I'm soaking every moment up with my promise of God & her brothers, my lil warriors, my beauty from ashes! Being these kiddos' momma is the best job in the whole world!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

2013 Year in Review

I know I'm late! Lol I think I get later with this each year! Instead of boring you with lots of words I'll show you some of my favorite & least favorite pic of 2013!

Had such a great snow day!! I'm not sure why, but it felt extra special this year!

I returned to the March for LIFE & met Josh & Anna Duggars (squeee!!!) & Rick & Karen Santorum.

This month was pretty normal, but we found out the sweet baby in my belly was indeed a girl!!!

The best part was Brady turning 8. He planned his own party & we all had a great time! I just love that sweet boy!!

Unfortunately the fun didnt last...2 days after his birthday a horrible hail storm hit! I was home alone with the boys & it sounded like our house was going to cave in!! So scary! Here's a pic of our poor Tahoe!

The end of Match gave us another scare! The boys were playing & Brady fell & hit his head & got the biggest, grossest, scariest goose egg I've EVER seen!!!

This month was full of baseball! Brad coached Rylan's team & Brady played his last season of coached-pitch.

My amazing friends also gave me a very cute girly baby shower for Chapel. It was AMAZING!!!

This month was crazy!!! We were still playing ball, I was in my 3rd trimester, Britany got married & Rylan turned 5. I swear I blinked & this month was over before it began!

This month brought in VBS fun, an insane amount of heat which kept us inside during the day & when Brad came home we headed to the pool. June also marked a super sized preggo belly as my pregnancy came to an end.

By far my favorite month of 2013!! On July 2 we welcomed Chapel Elise & became the Sigrest 6! July was an AMAZING month all together!

I slowly got us back into schoolin...and I mean sslloooowwllyy!! The night before we started I decorated our school area & made the boys favorite muffins so they would be even more excited to kick off!! 

This month was pretty mellow...praise Jesus! I began walking again, slow but steady to get my body strong again after having a 4th c-section. We also had our baby dedication at church for Chapel. She wore a dress I bought the day I found out she was a girl :)

I. Love. October!!! The weather gets a lil cooler & we celebrate FALL!! We had 2 fun field trips with our homeschool group. One to the Ag Museum & the other to Mitchell Farms. I was so thankful Brad came with us! We had a BLAST!!!

My sweet Mr also celebrates his birthday & I was able to surprise him with MSU tickets. It was a much needed date night & we LOVE going to Starkville!

Our lil Keller feller turned 3 this month! He had a fun super hero party! 

We thoroughly enjoyed the Christmas season! I just love this time of year! 

Britany graduated college & met her dad for the 1st time! It was a great day! She's so much like him & her lil sister! 
The end of 2013 Brad & I went to Memphis to see MSU play in the Liberty Bowl & to have us a lil getaway. Perfect way to end a pretty perfect year!

Here's to a blessed 2014!!!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Testimonies of Rape/Incest Conception

Below are links with many testimonies from women who conceived by rape & incest, testimonies from people who were conceived by rape & incest, testimonies from parents who were told to abort because of a disability...and much more. Please take the time to watch them & share them.

If you click on the first link, you can scroll down & see my full testimony. I look pretty rough! ;P It was filmed about 2 weeks before I had Chapel & the Mississppi heat was KILLER!!!

Many blessings to y'all!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Dear Me,

You won't always be this exhausted & worn out. You've made it through 3 teething babies who didn't want to sleep & you will make it through this one! 

This is just a season!

There's not enough coffee or Spark in this world to give you the adequate energy to homeschool a 3rd grader, a kindergartener, & a toddler all the while breastfeeding a baby! Oh & the energy to keep your house clean on top of being a momma, & there's that whole wife thing, & you're still potty training the toddler because like his big brothers he thinks his poop is too good for the toilet! 

Your list of things to do is longer than the paper you have to write it on. You feel overwhelmed most of the time & question your capabilities as a wife & momma. 

It will get easier!

Having a new baby in the house is always hard. Remember? You've done this before & not only did you survive, you've thrived! Look at your amazing boys! They're proof that you're doing a good job. You know you're not Super Mom, but your 4 blessings & your husband think you're pretty super anyway.

Deep inside you feel like your head is barely above water, but you know God will not let you drown (Isaiah 43:2). He is holding you with His righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:13). The Lord delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17). 

Take a deep breath & give yourself some grace. It takes time to figure out how to work with new challenges & a baby no matter how cute, comes with a lot of challenges especially when you have so many other things vying for your attention & care! 

You're doing a better job than you think! 

Cast ALL these cares on God (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22). Your doing a great Kingdom work & when your children are grown they won't remember the dirty floor or the ever present laundry on the couch that needs to be put away. They will however remember the times you took to play with them, the things you taught them about Jesus, about loving others & being kind. They will rise up & call you blessed (Psalm 31:28)!

By the way, the Psalms 31 woman had help maids!!! (Psalm 31:15). So seriously, cut yourself some slack!

Now rise up & press forward! Be blessed in the Name of Jesus! 

Sincerely & much love,


PS- Come back & read this as often as you need to! Your tired momma brain forgets a lot. :)