Thursday, October 27, 2011

Truth about LIFE

In Mississippi there is a lot of buzz about a new amendment being proposed to voters. Amendment 26 if passed will end abortion & cloning our state. Mississippi would then be the 1st & only state to stand up against abortion, though it wouldn't completely be able to overturn Roe vs Wade. Right now there is only one abortion clinic & it has been under fire for years due to the abortion doctor's bad choices. I know a lawyer who has a case a against him & the clinic & I pray it gets shut down soon.

Along with Amendment 26 comes a lot of misguided lies about what this amendment will or will not do. Those against it say it will ban birth control, stop invitrofertilization, choose for a mother to die over a baby, & could even have mothers arrested for murder if they miscarry. How absurd!!! This amendment will end abortion in the clinic, stop other clinics from opening, end cloning research on human embryos, & discontinue abortifacients type drugs, which are not THE PILL :)

If the amendment gets passed then it will have to go to our state's legislation who then lay the groundwork for the new law. Amendment 26 is meant for good not harm which cannot be stated for abortion.

As Christians we have got to start sticking up for what the Bible teaches & not what we fear because Scripture teaches us to not fear & to stick up for those who can't speak for themselves & I'm certain an unborn child falls into that category.

If you are a Mississippian I ask that you spend a great amount of time in prayer before you vote. Do not let the lies & scare tactics sway you from God's truth. If you are not a Mississippian I pray that you will pray for our state on this issue & your own state.

Many people agree that a woman who gets pregnant from rape or incest should be allowed to have an abortion. I disagree. A month before my 18th birthday I was drugged & raped by a high school guy I would have considered to be a good friend. I ended up getting pregnant from that rape. This is the first time I have ever blogged about this, but I need to share. A week before my rape a friend & I were being silly & video recording ourselves doing skits & such. On that tape I said that I believed abortion was wrong (and I meant it!) & that even IF I ever got raped I wouldn't have an abortion. (Famous last words!)

I won't go into all the details, but my home life was horrible. I was already depressed (though I didn't know that) & I was scared out of my mind to tell anyone the truth. I told the guy that if he paid for the abortion I would have one. I basically wanted to run away from my problems, but I have learned the hard way, you CANNOT run from your troubles no matter what! You have to face them!

I went into the clinic & told the "counselor" I was raped but really didn't want to have an abortion, but I didn't know what else to do. Her response, "Ok, sign this paper saying you understand what will happen during the procedure." That was it. My counseling. No warnings about about the emotions & such I would face afterward, the pain, my breast swelling & filling with milk, etc. Ok honestly, it was all in this packet I got, but no one verbally told me anything. Here I was a scared 18 year old girl who just went through a traumatic event & was having to make the hardest decision of my life, completely alone. I NEEDED someone to talk to.

I thought that having the abortion meant it would just all go away, I moved from TX to MS to get away from it all, but it never left me. Horrible nightmares plagued me for years about my rape & my abortion. Suicide attempts were made, constant drinking to numb my pain; I was a wreck. Years later when I finally got some real counseling I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). At 19 I got saved & things were looking up. I knew Jesus forgave me & was able to forgive my rapist, my mom, friends I told, but didn't stop me (I blamed a lot of people). But I could not in ANY way forgive myself!!!

What I did to my child was FAR worse than what my rapist did to me! No child should be punished because of the sins of the parents. My child was innocent.

When I transferred to my university I found myself alone again. All my Christian friends went to different schools, my boyfriend (who is now my husband) was working 4 hours away, & Satan saw a perfect opportunity to ravage me. And because I was so eat up with guilt & fear & shame & worthlessness, I let him. Nightmares came back worse than ever & the drinking got worse than ever. I remember begging God to tell me my baby's name because the Bible says He calls us by name & I wanted to know my child's name! He told my his name was Joshua. That gave me some peace, but now when the nightmares came I could see my little boy's face so clearly it made it harder to sleep.

 I finally threw myself on the altar at church one Sunday morning & begged God to break me of this cycle. He told me that He loved me & I could feel His arms wrapped tightly around me. I never took another drink & the nightmares stopped. About a year later I was married & pregnant with baby number 2, my sweet Brady. Unfortunately I still couldn't forgive myself & continued to listen to the lies of Satan.

"You can't tell anyone! These Christians wont understand! They already know you're not good enough! It's too shameful! Your friends will leave you! You'll have to leave your church! You'll bring shame to your husband! What mother could forgive herself?!" etc etc etc. I believed every single LIE!

When I was pregnant with my 2nd born (Rylan) I was at church one Sunday & God reminded me that 10 years ago that day I was pregnant with my first son Joshua. He wanted me to see how far He had brought me. :) He told me that Joshua was another name for Yeshua, which means JESUS! Joshua means "The Lord is my salvation." It was because of my rape & abortion that took me to the lowest pits of hell. But I had a love for that sweet baby that made me run toward Jesus. My son Joshua helped lead me to Christ. We gave Rylan the middle name Joshua in honor of his brother. :)

A couple years ago I did a post-abortive Bible study at a local CPC (Center for Pregnancy Choices) & it was terribly hard! I had to relive every moment of my rape & abortion, but it was necessary for my recovery. During the 6th week God gave me Isaiah 43:1b-3a

"“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through rough waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through raging rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior!"

The moment I read that verse I was HEALED!!!! No more shame, guilt, fear, worry, or worthless feelings! I felt like a new woman! I WAS a new woman!!! Jesus set me free & Satan couldn't lie to me about it anymore! Praise GOD! Jesus also gave me "beauty for ashes" with blessing me with my 3 sweet boys, Brady, Rylan, & Keller!!

At the end of the Bible study we had memorials for our babies that had been aborted. You see they were REAL HUMANS!!! Not tissue!! Not a mass! REAL BABIES THAT WERE ALIVE!!! We honored them & called them by name. This December Joshua would have been 13 years old. I am ever so grateful for my Redeemer! I know without any doubt that someday when my life on earth is over I will be reunited with him in Heaven! We serve a LOVING GOD! A loving God who can cleanse every spot, wash away every sin no matter "how bad" that sin is! A loving God who I believe with every part of my being would want us (ALL CHRISTIANS) to vote YES on 26! Because LIFE matters. He is the Creator of LIFE!

Think about it! I got pregnant by rape-unplanned, God created Joshua, not me, not my rapist. My other 3 boys were planned, but I did not create them, GOD DID! Men & women who struggle with infertility cannot create life! ONLY GOD CAN! Even those who go through IVF, the parents & the dr.s cannot make those embryos implant into the mother's womb so perfectly that life is sustained, ONLY GOD CAN! Miscarriages happen all the time for so many reasons, most unknown, but GOD created that life & ONLY HE DESERVES the RIGHT to end it! NO ONE ELSE!!

This whole pro-life pro-choice thing is far bigger than I think we realize! Please do not let fear & lies stop you from voting YES! Don't let anything stop you from praying that abortion will end & that those who have already made that choice will find healing & salvation. Don't let Satan fill your mind & heart with lies. Seek God's Word. Stand up for TRUTH! Protect those who cannt protect themselves! (Proverbs 31:8)

I pray blessings to you all! I pray I was able to speak truth in love & that my passion didn't overshadow the love I really have for EVERY human life. :) Have a blessed week & never doubt how much JESUS LOVES YOU!

5 comments:

ChaCha Carolyn said...

How far you've come! You are an example to others of Gods grace and loving kindness. What a blessing that your are now learning to love yourself as well.

Regina said...

Thank you for sharing. I am so tied of the talk about this bill. It makes me mad to see so many LIES and to see how deceived people are. I've decided to keep my mouth shut and my keyboard silent on the subject, though. I just don't think I can resist the temptation to get ugly with people. I agree with the bill. No human life should be considered a non-person, because the line will be pushed up and up and up until we are repeating the atrocities of the holocaust. (the 180 movie you posted was great btw)

The big debate on the bill has less to do with actual abortion than the supposed unintended consequences. I for one would be glad if it outlawed cloning, in vitro fertilization, and stem cell harvesting. But of course that's just too extreme. all the sad stories of women unable to concieve are trotted out. I'm sorry for those women. But I don't agree with messing around with human life and creating/destroying/storing human embryos. That is just (in my opinion) messing around with stuff we shouldn't be messing with. And as for the pill. I am against the pill for many reasons. And whether or not this bill does include the pill and whether or not it passes, I am delighted that this debate has exposed the truth about the how the pill works and perhaps they changed the minds.
I said before that I agree with the bill. But truth be told, I have come to realize that, while legislation is good, the real pro-life battle that is vital will be won or lost in peoples hearts. If we change people's hearts, we can change this culture of death. And the best way to do that is by living a pro-life testimony. By being accepting of life in our families and churches. By turning our hearts toward our families and SHOW the world why we need to value every life.

I miss you all at crossgates, and I miss brandon since we moved to the boonies :( But I enjoy reading your blogs :)

Erin said...

Ashley,
Thank you so much for being vulnerable enough to share your story. It IS time for Christians to stand up for what's right and when people who have experienced what you have, tell their story, we have a more powerful voice.
I'm so sorry that you had to endure that rape. I was the victim of a very violent rape, myself. And I'm so sorry that you had to go through that abortion feeling so alone.
You are precious and valuable to God! You are using your testimony to turn what was meant for evil, for good. Keep doing what you're doing and you will touch the lives of many!
Blessings,
~Erin
www.mynuggetsoftruth.blogspot.com

Donna Schultz said...

This is so powerful. Thank you for being so courageous and sharing your past and your heart and the redemption brought to you by our loving Savior.

Regina said...

Wow, I heard you on AFA today. I wanted to encourage you and thank you for sharing your story with the world!
Regina