Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Confession from a former Twilight fan :)

"Much of the allure about Twilight is that it appeals to our heart, or rather the unmet needs and issues of our heart. The driving need for escape, for romance, for the supernatural. We are investing enormous amounts of time, money and emotional resources on a fictitious toxic romance about the supernatural. Because we are not grounded in the truth of God's Word, and are not being transformed, we are easily deceived and drawn away from the truth to fill the empty void in our lives." - from Deborah Collins

I'm not gonna lie-I used to be a Twihard & a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Anytime & every time a Christian had something bad to say I got VERY defensive & had a list of reasons/excuses as to why these books/movies weren't affecting my walk with Christ-I know now that was lie straight from Satan I allowed myself to believe :/

Earlier this year at a ladies' retreat God awakened something deep within me-this complete yearning & longing for Him on such a more intimate level that I had never really thought about before. I tried on MY OWN to do away w these books/movies/ other TV shows etc but kept failing. Finally I realized that I couldn't do it-but I prayed that God would open my eyes to the things that had my heart more than He did & of course these particular books & movies were the first thing He showed me.

I knew it would be only by His grace that could just let it go. It was hard throwing these books away because they had cost a good bit of money over time-but I knew what God had for me on the other side would be worth it.

Now this is my personal testimony & God is still working on me. In fact I had come up w a plan to sneak & see the movie not telling anyone, but luckily with prayer, it faded away. And there are still other things of this world I need to draw away from in order to continue to draw closer to God.

I don't want to settle for an on the surface type Christianity where I fool myself into thinking certain things are OK when I know God is asking more from me. And I DEFINITELY desire to have more of Him!

No one other than God could have really opened my eyes to this revelation so I don't expect anyone to change their opinion because of me but it is my hope that we continue to seek God & see what He would have for us to give up & do away with in order to know Him in a more intimate way-after all Christ gave His life for us so what is it to do away with some sci-fi/fantasy in order to be more like Him & less like the world?

One thing He brought before me was this: how often have I had such an eagerness to read the Bible the way I've been so eager to read these books? Would I wait outside church for hours to make sure I had a good seat? If my church were having service from 12 am-2am would I be that excited to go as I was to see these movies?

My answer to Him was NO to all of them which made me realize He wasn't as much of a priority to me as these things were & thus my journey with Him to remove ALL things that come before Him began & it still continues :)

I only posted my lil testimony about because I have defended myself watching/reading the things before & I knew I needed to share my awakening :).

I don't expect anyone to change their mind because of me & I believe VERY strongly that God probably wouldn't have changed my old thoughts if I hadn't started to seek Him on a different level. You know the verse that says draw close to Him & He will draw close to you? Well I know now in order for us to be closer some things have to be put away, albeit earthly things such as books/movies/TV or other things such as anger, unforgiveness, fear, pride etc etc etc :) I'm just grateful He keeps pursuing me & that He covers me in grace!

1 comment:

mom-e-mae said...

thanks for sharing! I went to see the first two movies and my friend insisted I should read the books, and lent them to me. I was about halfway through the first one when I started being convicted. I just got a sick feeling in my stomach everytime I reached for the Twilight book sitting right next to my bible on my nightstand. I was never into Harry Potter. I saw the first couple of movies and it just irked me that teh "heros" of the story were always breaking rules and the "villans" were the authoriy figures. I later read that the books are very closely modeled after actual Wiccan practices, spells, books and ideology. Right now I'm trying to figure how to deal with "Star Wars"