That almost doesnt sound like a real word but it happened to me! And hopefully it'll keep on happening! :) For so long I deceived myself thinking that certain books, movies, tv shows, etc werent hurting my relationship with God. I told myself that God hadnt convicted me of them so therefore it was ok. Well I never really felt convicted but as a growing Christian who is seeking God I should have known better anyway.
But the more Christians blasted these things the more I wanted to defend myself...I mean who were they judge me? And it's not like they were coming to me personally in Christ's love to share what they knew, they were posting it all over Facebook as a generalized, vague status which made me angry. So I never even tried to understand where they were coming from because of the way they handled themselves.
Since 2010 began I have had a stirring inside me to know Jesus more personally, as my Bridegroom. To understand what it means to put Him first, to love Him most, to just sit and be with Him. At Bible study a fabulous lady from my church came and talked to us about spirits, good and evil. She talked about how WE control which spirits we operate under and that WE have the authority in Christ to cast down those bad ones and choose to be under the ones Christ has set for us. I had never heard anyone speak on these things before and it made me hungry to know more!
At the Ladies' Retreat I went to, the Holy Spirit tore right through me! I remember standing and praying while singing and then I was just overcome by His presence and began crying and laughing at the same time. I was shocked and happy and so many other emotions because I had never felt the Holy Spirit so much before in such an all consuming way!
From there I knew things, MANY things, were about to change, and I didnt mind at all! I was excited and eager! This past weekend I attended a ministry event that focused on the steps of healing in Christ. We went over so many things that I never really thought about how they affected my and my relationship in Christ. Some were obvious, but God was seriously opening my eyes to others.
I went home that evening threw away many books and things that the Lord had convicted me of and opened my eyes to. It felt so good! But I have to admit, it's not easy because when you are used to something for SO long and you get rid of it there is still a tug to turn back to it. But I am so thankful that God is right beside me walking with me and that He has sent me some AMAZING Christian friends who have prayed for me and will continue to pray for me!
I confessed what I had done to my Sunday school class and a friend came up to me afterward and gave me the BIGGEST hug and told me how happy and proud she was! That she had been praying for me about this issue of what I was reading and watching! She never condemned me personally or vaguely on Facebook. Instead she simply lifted me up in her prayers! How grateful I am to her!
So anyway, I have been purged and it feels FABULOUS! I cant wait to see what's next in the journey I am on with my Bridegroom! He is jealous for me and He loves me so much more than I can truly comprehend! :)