To say the least the last month or say has been crazy! I wasnt too busy just simply too tired and too pregnant too emotional LoL! Lovely hormones! Well 1st let me say my sweet baby K is here and is perfect! I had a sweet shower and was completely overwhelmed by love! I will post more on these later when I can sit down and upload photos to share with them. Hopefully this wont take another month!
My pregnancy went by incredibly fast to me. I was lying on the table getting prepped for my c-section and it hit me just how fast it went by. It didnt seem like it was time to have Keller yet, like some how it all rushed up on me, 9 months are gone and boy #3 was here. This of course lead me to a lot of alone time to rest, but of course with the ever changing hormones it led me to a lot of thinking about a lot of things and probably a lot of over-analyzing as well.
It's no surprise to anyone who knows me that I wear my heart on sleeve. If I'm sad, happy, angry, silly, etc etc it's typically not hard to tell. I used to keep all of my feelings locked in side never expressing what I was going through which ultimately led to a lot of depression. Then I went through a stage where I let my emotions control me and that was absolutely ignorant and no good either. So I've had to find a balance and sometimes that's easier said than done.
I try to be a open book. If I'm in a bad mood, I always let my husband, niece, anyone near me know so they dont take my bad attitude personally. Communication has changed so much in the last decade thanks to text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, blogs, etc. Sometimes it's easier to just shoot someone a text message when you just have a simple question than to call someone and have actual conversation that may last longer than needed. And let's face it, sending someone a birthday card is a thing of the past it seems. It's not official unless you post on Facebook for everyone else to see.
Somehow with all this technological communication has allowed people to keep in touch with more people, but it also seems as if it has driven a wedge and built walls between others. Now Im not saying any of these things are bad. Facebook alone has saved my scrap booking by allowing me to immediately upload pics and things my kids do as they do them. It has also helped my mom who we dont get to see often feel like she's very involved in our lives and can witness all of her grandkids growing up without leaving her home.
Then of course there's the aging process. As we grow and our lives change the things around us change. Our views, morals, beliefs, friends, kids, jobs, and so on. Sometimes it's hard for me personally to let go of things. I like things to be nice, simple, non-confrontational, drama-free, and easy as possible. Especially my relationships with others. But what Ive learned this past year is that they more often than not dont really go that way. People are different. As we each change our relationships change.
So friends come and go whether there is a reason for it or not. I for one, have got to learn to let go try not to take it personally. Maybe in the cycle of change the good Lord will bring those relationships back full circle. He's done it before so I'm certain He'll do it again.
And in the midst of the change He also brings forth new relationships. So in the end it's all good. Everything in life has the ability to make or break us, but we are the determining factors in that. When have to to choose to lean on Him and let Him guide us through, showing us more mercy and grace when we fail, helping us to admit failure and apologize when necessary.
In the midst of all the communication or lack there of, God is always there, just a prayer away. So in hopes to be more like Christ I hope I can be the same for others. That I can be just a phone call, text message, Facebook post or Tweet away when someone wants me :)
