Interview on Teleios

Last week, the awesome Matt Friedeman had the kids & I over for lunch & during that time he also interviewed me for his Teleios podcast. It's about 40 minutes long, but you can listen while you clean ;P 

Hope you are blessed by it!

http://www.teleiospress.com/teleios-this-week-podcast

Testimonies of Rape/Incest Conception

Below are links with many testimonies from women who conceived by rape & incest, testimonies from people who were conceived by rape & incest, testimonies from parents who were told to abort because of a disability...and much more. Please take the time to watch them & share them.

If you click on the first link, you can scroll down & see my full testimony. I look pretty rough! ;P It was filmed about 2 weeks before I had Chapel & the Mississppi heat was KILLER!!! 

http://conceivedinrape.com/

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6RPKQF3x2OM&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D6RPKQF3x2OM

Many blessings to y'all!

My thoughts on Akin

Many people know I have been raped & conceived  a child because of it & had that child aborted. Representative Todd Akin recently tried to speak out about his thoughts on abortion & when talking about abortion & rape he used the term "legitimate rape." Everyone is in an uproar over it. Yes his comment was dumb, he has been mislead, all rape is legitimate, that's what separates it from consenting sex. He tried to use a study that says women in rape can keep themselves from getting pregnant, but let's face it, no woman wants to get pregnant from rape.

So what are my thoughts?

He was wrong. He apologized. Let's all learn a big lesson & move on. Forgiveness.

With it being an election year there is so much more we should focus on, like having the most pro-abortion president voted out of office. Let's keep focus on November!

Here are some links to some of my testimonies & why rape should never be an excuse for abortion!!

Much love & many blessings,

Ash

http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=1469894

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1zzmfWYHPQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Miracles, March for Life, & the Mickey Mouse Club

All Christians believe God does miracles. Sometimes we say things randomly happen, but we know that God works everything out & those random things are orchestrated by Him to bring about a purpose for His divine will. Well do you believe that God used one of my favorite childhood shows, the Mickey Mouse Club, to begin another journey for me?


Well believe it!

During the Yes on 26 Personhood Campaign a lady named Danielle began following me on Twitter. Sunday night she tweeted that a former Mouseketeer was going to be on the singing competition The Voice. (Are you laughing yet?) I immediately replied because I was so in love with this guy in 5th grade :)!! Then a follower of hers replies to us laughing because she was an extra on the MMC. I was immediately intrigued by this so I went to her profile to see who she was.

Kelly Clinger was not only apart of the MMC, but she was also a back up singer for Britney Spears in the past. Her profile stated that she was post abortive & involved with the Silent No More campaign that helps men & women who've had abortions & others who have been affected by abortion. I told her briefly about my prolife stuff & directed her to the video of me at a press conference speaking out on why rape is not an excuse for abortion.

She asked if in fact that was me & was ecstatic that it was!!! She said she had shared the video many times & had hoped, along with others apart of Silent No More, that we would come in contact. How amazing is that!?! God used the MMC to bring us together! I love how He works sometimes! In ways we LEAST expect it!

She invited me to be apart of the March for Life that takes place each year around the anniversary of Roe vs Wade. Thousands of people come each year to take a stand for life & a stand against abortion. Many women & men who've had abortions, paid for abortions, helped someone get an abortion, or are somehow affected by abortion give their testimonies in front of the Supreme Court in Washington DC. I found out about this in 2008 & added it my "bucket list" of things I wanted to do.

Many states hold their own March for Life events & I had decided to do the March for Life in my state. God clearly had other plans. He knew my deep desire to go to Washington DC & fulfill this dream. He birthed in me long ago to take a major stand against abortion, to stand up for life, to bring glory to His truth & His Word, by using my testimony. For months now He has been opening doors for me to share my story & how He has set me free & healed me. I'm currently in the process of writing my own post-abortion Bible study! (prayers!!)

I talked to Kelly yesterday & she told me if I could get to DC to speak, my hotel would FREE, they really wanted me to be apart of this. I told my husband & we both knew that we didn't have the money to pay for a last-minute plane ticket to get me there. I immediately began praying, asking God to make a way, to do a miracle if He wanted me there. I asked all my prayer warriors to join in & pray with me. I had decided though, that if it didn't work out I would be ok, I would just do my local one & save up for next year.

A lady who used to attend my church asked me how someone could send me money to help me go. I gave her my information, not expecting a lot, because let's face it, I was going to need hundreds of dollars & in today's economy I didn't expect anyone to just GIVE me the money. This morning she calls me bright & early & tells me about a lady from her current church that has had an abortion. This lady has never really talked about her abortion because of her young children, but is active in helping prolife efforts. She also saw the video of me back in November & immediately wanted to help me.

Two other families had been praying, asking God to show them where to give some extra money to & when they heard about my need, they immediately believed it was from God & donated their money to help me go to DC!! I have never even met these people! All they know about me is what they saw in a short video pleading for people to not use rape as an excuse for abortion & to see that God is the Creator of life. That one day has COMPLETELY & utterly changed my life forever!!! I am so incredibly humbled by my Savior!!

Faith + Prayer = POWER!!! After I hung up the phone I burst into tears thanking my Lord over & over! I'm tearing up again writing this! He is such a loving Daddy to His children! My flight is booked, I'm working on childcare, & golly gee whiz I'm HEADED TO DC!!!!! I know this trip is going to open so many more doors! I can't even imagine what the Lord is up to, but I trust Him & my answer is "YES LORD!!! SEND ME!! I WILL GO FOR YOU!!!" (Isaiah 6:8)

This humbles me more than I can say. Just this past Sunday at church a lady told me about a state senator who was making statements that he would NEVER allow personhood to pass in our state. Of course this just broke me because I know firsthand how important such a law is! On the way to church that evening Satan had began torturing me. I had a VERY vivid flashback of my rape. I had not had one in many years. He kept taunting me, telling me I was wrong, I wasn't raped, & so forth. That night I couldn't keep it together. I just kept crying my eyes out because I knew the truth, but because I was unconscious for a greater part of it, there is a lot I don't remember. Through my tears I kept praising God & holding on to the truths I have in Him. My husband & I had our pastor pray over us & immediately felt much better. When we got home is when all of the aforementioned stuff came to be. I love how God shows off His love for me! He didn't have to a thing more than He's already done for me & yet He keeps pushing me forward, walking beside me, leading me down new paths for His purpose.

Please continue to pray for me & my family & for all those traveling to DC for this event. We know that anytime we move forward for Christ, Satan will be right behind us ready to attack us & break us down. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me! The support & prayer from friends & strangers has kept me going during these last months & continues to help me forge ahead!

Blessings to you all & I can't wait to come back & tell you ALL about it!!



How this all came to be

The last few days have been a whirlwind to me! I feel like I should lay flat on the ground & worship Jesus & never get up! I need a new word for humbled because I don't think humbled even touches what I am! Last Thursday I finally gave in to Jesus & wrote in my blog about my rape & abortion. The feed back was immediately great. That night I saw a commercial against Amendment 26 with a woman saying she had been raped & that abortion is ok for rape victims.

Immediately my heart sank. I felt like Satan was mocking me, laughing in my face. I immediately called the Yes for 26 campaign & told them my story over the voicemail. Early Friday morning they called me back & said they wished they somehow could do a commercial with me, but time was just so short, but if something came up they would call me.

I went on with my morning, got the kids some McDonald's & went to get my hair done. As soon as I walked in Yes on 26 called & said they wanted me to do an interview with a local news station to share my story! Now you know God has EXCELLENT timing because my roots were HORRID! He waited just in time for me to get all prettied up :)

My family still didn't know about what I had been through. So before the news aired on TV my husband called his family & I got in touch with mine to let them know. The cat was finally out of the bag! They were all supportive of me, but my dad seems to be taking it hard that I didn't tell him back then. So please pray for him. I don't want him or anyone else to hurt.

That afternoon I went to the MS Baptist Convention to film my interview. It went great! The MBC were so excited I was sharing my story they wanted the footage to show at their convention. Unfortunately when the interview aired it wasn't at all what we were expecting.



 Social Media Used In Battle Over Personhood


I was really bummed that after all I said, that is what aired. But I kept trusting God & knew His will would proceed. Over the weekend many people were calling, texting, facebooking me to let me know they saw the clip & were praying for me & thanking me for being so brave. My former BSU (Baptist Student Union) director asked me to speak to his students at a local community college next week. I was just amazed at the response I was hearing & could only thank Jesus for using me & keeping His promise, not that I ever doubted He would.

Unfortunately the news channel wouldn't give out the raw footage to the MBC for them to show at their convention so my wonderful church agreed to refilm me. The Lord made a way. My in-law's church will be airing that footage this Sunday too! God is doing a MIGHTY work! I am  merely His vessel! Monday morning I got an email from the Yes on 26 Campaign asking me to come to their press conference & possibly speak. The whole day I just prayed & prayed that Jesus would speak through me! And boy howdy did He!!

After the speakers of the press conference were finished the reporters & crowd were able to to ask questions. A retired OBGYN was giving her medical side on a question then a group of people from Parents Against MS 26 yelled out, "What about in the case of incest & rape? Shouldn't women who are raped be able to have an abortion?" And this video is what followed.

I knew I was talking, but Jesus was speaking through me! It is now all over Facebook & YouTube. Can't go back now. :) But God told me years ago, many times He reminded me that He was going to use my story to bring Him glory. After all, it's really His story because when I gave my life to Jesus, I gave Him my past, present, & future.

I just hope & pray & ask that you pray that the LIES & MISINFORMATION about 26 & the HYPOTHETICAL situations don't scare people from the truth about what 26 says & what it WILL do, not what it MIGHT do.

Blessings to you all!!

Truth about LIFE

In Mississippi there is a lot of buzz about a new amendment being proposed to voters. Amendment 26 if passed will end abortion & cloning our state. Mississippi would then be the 1st & only state to stand up against abortion, though it wouldn't completely be able to overturn Roe vs Wade. Right now there is only one abortion clinic & it has been under fire for years due to the abortion doctor's bad choices. I know a lawyer who has a case a against him & the clinic & I pray it gets shut down soon.

Along with Amendment 26 comes a lot of misguided lies about what this amendment will or will not do. Those against it say it will ban birth control, stop invitrofertilization, choose for a mother to die over a baby, & could even have mothers arrested for murder if they miscarry. How absurd!!! This amendment will end abortion in the clinic, stop other clinics from opening, end cloning research on human embryos, & discontinue abortifacients type drugs, which are not THE PILL :)

If the amendment gets passed then it will have to go to our state's legislation who then lay the groundwork for the new law. Amendment 26 is meant for good not harm which cannot be stated for abortion.

As Christians we have got to start sticking up for what the Bible teaches & not what we fear because Scripture teaches us to not fear & to stick up for those who can't speak for themselves & I'm certain an unborn child falls into that category.

If you are a Mississippian I ask that you spend a great amount of time in prayer before you vote. Do not let the lies & scare tactics sway you from God's truth. If you are not a Mississippian I pray that you will pray for our state on this issue & your own state.

Many people agree that a woman who gets pregnant from rape or incest should be allowed to have an abortion. I disagree. A month before my 18th birthday I was drugged & raped by a high school guy I would have considered to be a good friend. I ended up getting pregnant from that rape. This is the first time I have ever blogged about this, but I need to share. A week before my rape a friend & I were being silly & video recording ourselves doing skits & such. On that tape I said that I believed abortion was wrong (and I meant it!) & that even IF I ever got raped I wouldn't have an abortion. (Famous last words!)

I won't go into all the details, but my home life was horrible. I was already depressed (though I didn't know that) & I was scared out of my mind to tell anyone the truth. I told the guy that if he paid for the abortion I would have one. I basically wanted to run away from my problems, but I have learned the hard way, you CANNOT run from your troubles no matter what! You have to face them!

I went into the clinic & told the "counselor" I was raped but really didn't want to have an abortion, but I didn't know what else to do. Her response, "Ok, sign this paper saying you understand what will happen during the procedure." That was it. My counseling. No warnings about about the emotions & such I would face afterward, the pain, my breast swelling & filling with milk, etc. Ok honestly, it was all in this packet I got, but no one verbally told me anything. Here I was a scared 18 year old girl who just went through a traumatic event & was having to make the hardest decision of my life, completely alone. I NEEDED someone to talk to.

I thought that having the abortion meant it would just all go away, I moved from TX to MS to get away from it all, but it never left me. Horrible nightmares plagued me for years about my rape & my abortion. Suicide attempts were made, constant drinking to numb my pain; I was a wreck. Years later when I finally got some real counseling I was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). At 19 I got saved & things were looking up. I knew Jesus forgave me & was able to forgive my rapist, my mom, friends I told, but didn't stop me (I blamed a lot of people). But I could not in ANY way forgive myself!!!

What I did to my child was FAR worse than what my rapist did to me! No child should be punished because of the sins of the parents. My child was innocent.

When I transferred to my university I found myself alone again. All my Christian friends went to different schools, my boyfriend (who is now my husband) was working 4 hours away, & Satan saw a perfect opportunity to ravage me. And because I was so eat up with guilt & fear & shame & worthlessness, I let him. Nightmares came back worse than ever & the drinking got worse than ever. I remember begging God to tell me my baby's name because the Bible says He calls us by name & I wanted to know my child's name! He told my his name was Joshua. That gave me some peace, but now when the nightmares came I could see my little boy's face so clearly it made it harder to sleep.

 I finally threw myself on the altar at church one Sunday morning & begged God to break me of this cycle. He told me that He loved me & I could feel His arms wrapped tightly around me. I never took another drink & the nightmares stopped. About a year later I was married & pregnant with baby number 2, my sweet Brady. Unfortunately I still couldn't forgive myself & continued to listen to the lies of Satan.

"You can't tell anyone! These Christians wont understand! They already know you're not good enough! It's too shameful! Your friends will leave you! You'll have to leave your church! You'll bring shame to your husband! What mother could forgive herself?!" etc etc etc. I believed every single LIE!

When I was pregnant with my 2nd born (Rylan) I was at church one Sunday & God reminded me that 10 years ago that day I was pregnant with my first son Joshua. He wanted me to see how far He had brought me. :) He told me that Joshua was another name for Yeshua, which means JESUS! Joshua means "The Lord is my salvation." It was because of my rape & abortion that took me to the lowest pits of hell. But I had a love for that sweet baby that made me run toward Jesus. My son Joshua helped lead me to Christ. We gave Rylan the middle name Joshua in honor of his brother. :)

A couple years ago I did a post-abortive Bible study at a local CPC (Center for Pregnancy Choices) & it was terribly hard! I had to relive every moment of my rape & abortion, but it was necessary for my recovery. During the 6th week God gave me Isaiah 43:1b-3a

"“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through rough waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through raging rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior!"

The moment I read that verse I was HEALED!!!! No more shame, guilt, fear, worry, or worthless feelings! I felt like a new woman! I WAS a new woman!!! Jesus set me free & Satan couldn't lie to me about it anymore! Praise GOD! Jesus also gave me "beauty for ashes" with blessing me with my 3 sweet boys, Brady, Rylan, & Keller!!

At the end of the Bible study we had memorials for our babies that had been aborted. You see they were REAL HUMANS!!! Not tissue!! Not a mass! REAL BABIES THAT WERE ALIVE!!! We honored them & called them by name. This December Joshua would have been 13 years old. I am ever so grateful for my Redeemer! I know without any doubt that someday when my life on earth is over I will be reunited with him in Heaven! We serve a LOVING GOD! A loving God who can cleanse every spot, wash away every sin no matter "how bad" that sin is! A loving God who I believe with every part of my being would want us (ALL CHRISTIANS) to vote YES on 26! Because LIFE matters. He is the Creator of LIFE!

Think about it! I got pregnant by rape-unplanned, God created Joshua, not me, not my rapist. My other 3 boys were planned, but I did not create them, GOD DID! Men & women who struggle with infertility cannot create life! ONLY GOD CAN! Even those who go through IVF, the parents & the dr.s cannot make those embryos implant into the mother's womb so perfectly that life is sustained, ONLY GOD CAN! Miscarriages happen all the time for so many reasons, most unknown, but GOD created that life & ONLY HE DESERVES the RIGHT to end it! NO ONE ELSE!!

This whole pro-life pro-choice thing is far bigger than I think we realize! Please do not let fear & lies stop you from voting YES! Don't let anything stop you from praying that abortion will end & that those who have already made that choice will find healing & salvation. Don't let Satan fill your mind & heart with lies. Seek God's Word. Stand up for TRUTH! Protect those who cannt protect themselves! (Proverbs 31:8)

I pray blessings to you all! I pray I was able to speak truth in love & that my passion didn't overshadow the love I really have for EVERY human life. :) Have a blessed week & never doubt how much JESUS LOVES YOU!